2020: What a Year
We all know that 2020 has been quite a year. So much has gone wrong and as it nears its end I think many are glad to have it behind us. I have to admit though, the realist in me doesn’t foresee 2021 being much better – at least not the first part of the year. So when we think back on 2020 what will you remember? What will you tell your children when they ask years from now what 2020 was like? Will it all be doom and gloom or will there be silver linings to celebrate? Here are my reflections on 2020…
My greatest accomplishment for the year has been bringing my second son into the world. Matthew was never intended to be a 2020 baby. His due date was the day after Christmas 2019 but he had other plans. He arrived on January 3rd – a perfect bundle of hope for a new year and he has keep me busy this year. Much of this year has been spent trying to navigate Matthew’s medical challenges but honestly his care has kept me busy and his snuggles have kept me grounded. It’s been difficult to stay positive during the pandemic and to see light in isolation but when I look into Matthew’s eyes I see only innocence and pure love. He doesn’t understand or honestly care about what is going on in the outside world because everything he needs he has in me – right in front of him.
That said, this is not the world that I wanted my boys to grow up in. I oscillate between sadness and anger. It all seems terribly unfair. My heart sinks a little further every time my 4 year old asks me how much longer he will have to wear his mask at school and when the germs will go away. My heart breaks for my almost 1 year old because seeing people in masks is all he knows and his view of “normal.” I want my boys to have a carefree childhood and as it stands, my baby rarely even gets to see other kids his age and when he does he is completely star-struck. It’s soul crushing.
This year also brought personal loss. My maternal grandmother passed away this past spring and since her nursing home was under lockdown we were unable to visit her before she passed. On the positive side though, I was able to video chat with her twice in her final days and introduce her to her newest grandson which is something that pre-Covid wouldn’t have been a service that the facility offered. I guess that’s definitely a silver lining. Although I wish I could have been with her in person, I hope she knows how loved she was.
This year has also shed light on how much my family means to me. It’s amazing how much we take for granted when it seems easy. Before Covid, I used to lament the fact that my parents were a 5 hour plane ride away but now, it’s even worse because they can’t even fly here and even if they did it would cause problems with my older sons’ school because our whole family would have to quarantine per the school’s rules. I’m grateful for the technology that allows video chatting possible but it’s not the same.
If I’m looking for a silver lining I’d say that at least limited contact imposed by Covid has made running errands with kids a bit easier. Many stores offer curbside pickup including our public library and when I needed to renew my driver’s license it only took 15 minutes instead of 5 hours because of strict appointment time rules. I have literally NEVER seen the DMV so organized or efficient. I have to admit that I hope that curbside pickup options stay around even after the pandemic ends. I love being able to do store and library pickups without having to drag napping children out of the car!
I hope that 2021 brings light and joy and of course an end to the pandemic and a return to social gatherings and travel to see loved ones. In the meantime I’ll try to focus on my children and enjoy them while they are young – this time passes all too quickly. Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season and bright new year.
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