A Night Out
Last month my parents offered my husband and I a fantastic gift. They offered to watch our two small children overnight while we spent the night at a hotel and enjoyed a night to ourselves. We hadn’t done this for two years. The last time we had a night to ourselves was when my mom watched my oldest and we traveled to Canada for a long weekend. I had been newly pregnant with my now 15 month old. Now, my husband and I were going to be geographically separated for a while and this was our opportunity for one last hurrah. My hesitation? My younger son is still very much attached to the boob and thanks to Covid; he refuses to take a bottle and has never really been away from me either. Are you considering a trip without your nursing babe? I hope my experience helps you feel more comfortable going for it.
I was really worried about leaving my son for a few reasons… 1) I was worried that my son wouldn’t drink any of my pumped milk while I was gone and wouldn’t be able to settle for sleep 2) I was worried that my son would decide he was done breastfeeding while I was gone (and I wasn’t ready) and 3) I was worried that my supply would dry up being away from my son. I called my IBCLC in a panic. I didn’t even know where to start. I hadn’t pumped since my son was four months old which was when my son decided that he would no longer accept a bottle. After much reassurance from my IBCLC that I could make this work, I hesitantly agreed to one night and two days at a hotel and spa about 45 minutes away from my home. It was far enough away that my husband and I felt like we were on a trip but close enough that I felt that we could get home if we needed to in under an hour.
Two weeks before we left I started pumping a couple of times a day to start creating a stash of milk for my son to drink while we were away. My son doesn’t nurse on a set schedule or a specific number of times. He nurses on demand so I had no idea when to pump or how much milk to leave. I have been fortunate with this baby to be able to pump 6 plus ounces in one sitting whereas with my older son I was thrilled to get 3. That said, it’s likely that my son gets a lot more than that every time he nurses. Despite that though, knowing his history of pumped milk refusal, my IBCLC speculated that my son probably wouldn’t drink more than 3 ounces per sitting from a cup or bottle. She recommended leaving about 30 ounces and told me to pump every 4-5 hours while I was gone to make sure that my breasts didn’t become uncomfortably engorged or cause a loss of supply.
In the two weeks before we left I tried to make time to pump once or twice a day so I could save up the 30 ounces I wanted to leave for my son. I tried to get up early to pump when my son was still sleeping because I generally have the most milk in the morning and I also sometimes took advantage of naptime. With my older son I was able to pump and nurse at the same time but this baby is jealous of the pump and will do everything in his power to make pumping impossible in his presence.
When my parents arrived to take over, I made sure to leave them as much information about our daily schedule as I could. I left about 30 oz. of frozen breastmilk in my freezer, about 8 oz. fresh in my fridge, a half-gallon of whole cow milk, and a variety of cups and bottles since I had no idea what my baby would accept. I made sure to pack my breast pump and plug, 2 sets of pump parts, a travel bottle of dish soap, and a box of milk storage bags. I opted for storage bags over several empty collection bottles because I thought it would take up less space in the hotel fridge and be easier to transport home. I also didn’t know how many I would need so this was a space-saving solution for that problem.
Leaving my two kids even just for one night was stressful and I definitely felt some anxiety but I have to admit that my husband and I really needed the time away. I had to be intentional about pumping but it was actually easier than I had anticipated. I pumped every 4-5 hours and stored my milk in the hotel mini-fridge in our room. When it was time to head home, my husband grabbed some ice from the ice machine down the hall and we filled the little lunch box I had brought with me with the milk and the ice. It stayed perfectly chilled until we got home, even with a stop for brunch!
When we arrived home we discovered that our son had refused to drink any of the breastmilk that I had left for him. In fact, my mom told me that he had thrown an epic fit and acted completely offended whenever she attempted to offer it to him. On the other hand though, she said that he had slept great and had drunk plenty of cow milk to compensate for the breastmilk that he refused. Best yet, my son went right back to nursing and wanted to be with me the minute he saw me.
I was disappointed that my baby wouldn’t take any of the milk that I had left but the fact that he went right back to nursing when I came home and drank other milk in my absence was a relief. It proved to me that if I needed to be away from him that he WOULD be ok. While I love my children, being away for a night gave my husband and I a much needed chance to reconnect and recharge our batteries. You can’t give from an empty cup so if you are a nursing mom who needs a night away, I’m here to encourage you not to feel guilty. Your baby will be OK and you will come back ready to be the best mom that you can be.
Image Courtesy of Goggle