Adventures in Audiology Pt. 1

When you are a brand new mom you have so much running through your mind.  Your body and emotions are both raw and tired and the last thing that you want to hear is that your newborn isn’t “perfect.”  My son turned 6 months old this week.  You might have read my previous post about his rough start at birth where I discussed his hospital stay due to jaundice but in addition to that, there was also a concern about my son’s hearing. (If you want to read more about his birth you can read the posts here and here.)

At the hospital where I delivered both of my sons it is common practice to test the hearing of newborn babies before they are discharged from the hospital.  My first son passed with no issues and we really didn’t give it much more thought after that but my second son was a different story.  They first tested Matthew’s hearing the day after he was born but unlike his brother, Matthew did not pass.  He didn’t fail entirely; he passed only on one side.  We weren’t too worried yet though because my husband and I were assured that it’s not unusual for babies to fail the first time and that the test would be repeated again before discharge.  Unfortunately the next day, Matthew failed the test a second time in the same ear.  Now I was worried.

Before panic set in the pediatrician came in to talk to us and assured me that it was still possible that Matthew was just “too new.”  He explained to us that Matthew had been born VERY quickly and that babies who don’t spend a lot of time being squeezed on the way out often have a lot of extra fluid in their systems. This seemed like a likely explanation as Matthew kept spitting up and sounded very congested.  The doctor explained that with so much extra fluid in his system, his aural canals might just be blocked and that as he adjusted to life on the outside and worked the fluid out of his system that his hearing  might change.  However Matthew also presented with differently shaped ears.  A rare genetic condition runs in my husband’s family and one of its hallmarks is what they call “question mark ears.”  Matthew’s ears are not quite so differently shaped as some but they were definitely noticeably curvy.  His ears were also very different from one another!  Being so rare, a lot about the condition is unknown but due to the shape of Matthew’s ears and his failed hearing tests we were worried that hearing loss might be part of it.  The pediatrician asked us to bring Matthew back to the hospital in a week for a third retest but did caution us that if Matthew failed a third time, that they would refer us to a professional audiologist for evaluation.

If you read my past posts about Matthew’s birth and first few days you might remember that Matthew was readmitted to the hospital for jaundice less than 24 hours after discharge after his birth.  Since we were already in the hospital, the doctors asked if they could perform the hearing test again instead of waiting until the end of the week so we wouldn’t have to go back to the hospital again.

I remember being exhausted both emotionally and physically from the long night before trying to feed and care for my newborn while he was “under the lights.”  I agreed to the third hearing test but I was very worried about what its outcome would be.  When the tech came in to run the test she didn’t really explain to me what she was doing and when I asked her how the test worked she really couldn’t even explain it to me.  She put tiny headphones on Matthew’s head and then told me that somehow the computer it was hooked to was able to tell if Matthew was able to hear any of the sounds she was playing him.

The previous two tests had been done while Matthew was out of our room for other procedures so I hadn’t witnessed them.  This time it was done in our room.  I could see little lines coming up on the computer on one side of the screen but on the other nothing was happening.  I felt sick.  The tech was very quiet and kept glancing at Matthew and the back to the computer screen.  I finally worked up the courage to ask her if Matthew could hear anything she was playing him and the look she gave me said it all.  She told me to give it another minute or two but it wasn’t looking good.

Matthew failed his third test again on one side.  I felt broken.  I was all alone.  My husband was at home with my parents and my older son.  I called him to tell him and he told me it would be OK but I felt like I was barely holding it together.  My friend who happens to be the IBCLC at the hospital came in a short time later to check on us.  I was holding Matthew and trying to give him all of the love I could.  I felt like I had failed him somehow –like this was all my fault.  Matthew no longer had to be under the lights at that point but we were waiting on a test to make sure that he wouldn’t have to go back under for another night before we could be discharged.  My friend sat down next to me and asked how I was doing.  I am sure I looked awful.  I was just a few days postpartum.  Physically, I was a mess and emotionally even more so.  I started telling her that Matthew had failed the hearing test a third time and I completely lost it.  The flood gates opened and the tears just spilled out uncontrollably.  I am beyond grateful to this friend who just sat with me and let me feel everything.  She was just really “with” me in that moment.  She told me it was going to be OK no matter what and that she understood.  After my previous miscarriage, difficult pregnancy, traumatic birth experience, and now health issues with my newborn everything was so raw.  I felt like everything was my fault and I was heartbroken that my newborn might not be “perfect.”  She validated my feelings and gently asked if she could take Matthew to the nursery for a bit.  She promised that she would personally watch over him and told me to try to get a little bit of a nap.  She knew how badly I needed it and honestly I think we both knew that at that point I wouldn’t have let my baby go to anyone else.  In that moment she saved me from an even worse meltdown and I am forever grateful.  I was worried to let Matthew out of my sight but I also trusted her completely and knew that with her Matthew would be OK.

When the pediatrician came in to discuss the results with me and the next steps, I was surprised to find out that he had needed to double check the results because on the third test Matthew had actually passed on the ear that he had failed on the previous two times but failed on the ear that had previously passed.  He recommended that we get Matthew’s hearing officially tested by Connecticut Children’s Medical Center’s Audiology department to find out for sure what was going on.  Find out how his official testing went in my next post next week.  If you having an infant who failed a hearing test please know that you are not alone.  Need support?  Please reach out!  It’s a scary thing but I promise, somehow, everything will be OK.

Image Courtesy of quincymedgroup.com