Breastfeeding Round 2
If you’ve been following my blog posts for the past couple of months, you have read about some of the ways that my two sons are different – and they are VERY different. Breastfeeding has been no exception. The learning curve has been a bit easier this time since I do have some experience but there is still a lot to learn nonetheless.
My first son (JJ) arrived almost 4 years ago in June. It’s hard to believe he is almost 4. Before his arrival I did a lot of research and although some of my family members were not very supportive, I was convinced that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I read books about it and began following breastfeeding blogs. I was excited and determined to give it a try but I also told myself not to get too excited just in case it didn’t work out….
JJ was a sleepy baby when he was a newborn and I don’t just mean that he slept frequently like most newborns. I mean he slept ALL THE TIME and wanted to do little else. My husband and I rarely saw his eyes open and he wanted little to do with the outside world. He literally tuned everything out – including loud car horns, blaring music, and even fireworks. Nothing phased him or could interrupt his beauty sleep. This included eating… believe it or not, he had little interest in food. (4 years later the boy could eat me out of house and home though!) My husband and I, being brand new parents, expected to be taking home an infant who would wake us several times a night (and through the day) demanding to be fed but instead, we took home a baby who we needed to physically wake up and CONVINCE to eat. It was exhausting.
Each feeding consisted of stripping my son naked and putting cold baby wipes on his feet to wake him up enough to attempt to get him to latch. Luckily my milk came in well and my lactation consultant felt as though I was producing enough to feed him. Because he was so sleepy though, his latch was sloppy and he had a hard time staying on the boob and sucking. If it wasn’t for a kind nurse at the hospital who was very patient with us and my lactation consultant I’m sure I would have given up my attempt to breastfeed in the first few days. Luckily that didn’t happen and with the aid of a nipple shield and a lot of help, we were able to get my son to latch on and nurse. This continued for months.
In addition to the long process that each feed was, and the usually new mama anxieties that plagued me, our pediatrician put my son on a “weight probation plan.” He was only in the 4th percentile for his weight and was gaining slowly despite constantly eating. We had to go to the office weekly for official “weigh-ins.” She made me feel like I was starving my child and if it wasn’t for my lactation consultant’s encouragement and reassurance that my son WAS gaining weight I probably would have quit again but I persevered.
Each week I attended the breastfeeding support group at the hospital led by my lactation consultant and each week I weighed my son on the scale there carefully tracking the numbers week to week to make sure that he was actually gaining. I was also pumping after feeds and attempting to bottle feed my son to supplement whatever milk he was getting directly from me. I didn’t respond all that well to my pump and with help from my LC I discovered that I was able to pump the most milk if I pumped one breast while feeding my son on the other. My LC told me that by doing this, I was able to trick my brain into thinking that I needed to feed an invisible twin and therefore was able to let down more milk than if I was just trying to pump with the machine alone. Thank goodness I discovered Rumina pump and nurse bras and tanks because this was a tricky feat to juggle without them!
I also was blessed by a good friend who gifted me her Spectra pump when she finished her pumping journey. Compared to my Medela pump, I could suddenly pump ounces more per pump session. I couldn’t believe it. I also discovered that I was using the wrong flange size when pumping which made a big difference. Eventually I was able to stop pumping after EVERY nursing session and was even able to start a freezer stash which felt like a big victory. We were also able to wean off of the nipple shield when JJ was around eight months old.
Our pediatrician always made me feel like I had “just enough” milk to keep my son alive and I was constantly trying to eat foods that would encourage my body to produce more milk. In hindsight though, I had plenty of milk to keep my son alive and she really caused me a lot of undue stress. I eventually chose to leave that office after another doctor in the same office asked why I was still breastfeeding when my son was six months old. Finding another doctor was probably one of the best decisions that I made. I successfully nursed JJ until he was about 21 months old.
When my newest son, Matthew, was born in January I knew I would choose to breastfeed again. This time I knew what to expect, or at least that’s what I thought! At 18 weeks pregnant I was already producing milk again and imagine my excitement when I was able to get Matthew to latch without a shield while we were still in the hospital. I already knew the basic “breastfeeding mechanics” and this baby was much more interested in nursing (he was waking to eat like we had expected JJ to do but never did) so that made things much easier this time around. That said, if you read my post about Matthew’s rough start (read it here) you know that he had to be readmitted to the hospital at 3 days old for Jaundice. One of the doctors and a couple of the nurses tried to tell me that I needed to supplement with formula while he was under the lights but I insisted on pumping instead. I knew that I had the milk. I have nothing against supplementation or formula but since I had been producing milk for over half of my pregnancy I knew I had enough supply. Even so, I felt like I already had something to prove. I arrived at the hospital when my son was readmitted armed with my new Spectra pump, bottles, my water bottle, and the determination to provide the milk that my newborn needed.
During his hospital stay, I was allowed to take Matthew out of the baby tanning bed every three hours or so for only 30 minutes. After each feed I pumped religiously determined to prove to myself and the staff that I had plenty of milk. After each feed I was able to pump at least an ounce of milk (about 20 ml) which was then bottle fed to my son while he was still under the lights. In comparison with JJ at the same age, I was only able to pump a few milliliters of milk after each feed until my milk came in full force a few days later. I was proud of myself and my body for producing so well so early the second time around. However, I had no idea that this would soon backfire on me.
Before Matthew’s arrival, I had heard that many moms have more milk with each child that they have but based on my experience with JJ I had a difficult time believing it. Let me tell you… it’s true! Not only did I produce milk early in my pregnancy and was able to produce more milk from the day Matthew arrived but a couple of days after we came home from our second hospital stay, even more milk came in and it came in in full force!
Every time that I went to nurse Matthew I would get a letdown of milk almost immediately after he latched on and he would instinctively pull back which would lead to him popping off of my nipple and promptly being sprayed in the face. When he did manage to stay on the boob he had to learn to gulp the milk as fast as he could. If he didn’t, he would start choking on it. I felt awful. I was basically unintentionally waterboarding my newborn every time he ate.
I sought out help from my favorite LC again and discovered that I was having an issue with oversupply which had been made worse by pumping so much while I was in the hospital. When I pumped for JJ, I was able to pump about 3 oz in 30 minutes. This time, I could pump for 6 minutes and get 6 oz. It was insane. I was both impressed by my body’s ability to produce the milk and panicked that there was so much of it. Let me tell you ladies, after being made to feel that I didn’t have enough milk with my first, it felt good not to have to worry about having enough, but having too much has been just as much of a problem. Neither side of the fence is greener.
Following the advice of my LC I began using a Haakaa pump to gently remove some of the milk from one breast while my son nursed the other so that I wouldn’t be so painfully engorged. The Haakaa mainly catches milk that drips or sprays so it doesn’t “pull” milk the same way that a regular pump does. By using it, I was able to relieve some pressure without telling my body to make even more milk. I was able to start a healthy freezer stash!
Our pediatrician tried to tell me that I should take steps to reduce my supply and titrate down the amount of milk my body was making but my LC (knowing my history with my older son) advised me to wait it out. She advised waiting for the milk to regulate a bit to avoid the risk of reducing my supply too much and ending up back where I was with JJ (or worse). Your body does know what it’s doing and over time it will regulate supply and demand.
Matthew is now 4 months old and he is finally being sprayed less when he nurses. I still have a forceful letdown and PLENTY of milk to keep him full but we are both adjusting. I only pump when he misses a feeding or when we want to practice letting him use a bottle and I try not to over do it when I do pump. I’m still using the Haakaa when I feel really “full” but I find myself needing it less.
Nursing this baby feels so different and yet familiar all at the same time. My body was made to do this and while I may not always be comfortable in its new postpartum shape, I’m proud of it.
If you are expecting a second, third, or more baby my best advice is to go easy on yourself and be open to new bumps in the road. Don’t be surprised if you have a ton of milk or if you struggle the second time around. Each baby is different and you are different too. You and your baby will learn together. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy every snuggle while you do. Keep calm and nurse on.
JJ and Matthew