Choosing to be Thankful

There is always something to be thankful for.  During this season of my life, I have struggled to find joy in things.  Learning that my sweet baby has a life limiting illness and watching her struggle to do things that come so easily to most other babies has been heartbreaking.  Trying to come up with lists of things that she can use for Christmas has been difficult. Letting go of what I thought the holiday season would look like with four small children and accepting what is has been hard.  So today, I am choosing to find things to be thankful for.  

 

I am thankful for my beautiful family.  We are perfectly imperfect. Beautifully broken.  Strong. Resilient. We have banded together to support each other, help Felicity grow and thrive in the ways that she is able, and provide stability for the other kids during hospital stays and appointments.  

 

I am thankful for my friends.  They have organized fundraisers, sent countless messages of support and love, and always make sure to ask how I am doing.  They have listened to my difficult questions and conversations at 2 in the morning when the fear creeps in. They have provided encouragement to seek out the care that Felicity needs.  They have been a sounding board, a voice of reason, and a rock solid support group during some of my most trying times.  

 

I am thankful for modern medicine which has allowed me to care for Felicity mostly at home.  I am thankful for the team of people who we have assembled to care for her in the best way possible.  I am thankful for her physical therapist who has become a large part of her team and is kind to our entire family while still helping Felicity thrive in every way that she is able. 

 

I am thankful for Rumina and all of our followers.  I am just a blogger and social media poster with Rumina, but the support I’ve gotten from both the company and fellow moms have been incredible.  I wasn’t sure I still belonged, not being a nursing mom anymore, but I have been shown such love and grace. I am grateful to be given a platform to share my advice, stories, journey, and experience.  

 

 

In this season where everything feels a bit strange, I feel like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Will we end up back in the hospital? Will she continue to do well? Will she regress? Will she gain skills? Questions no one really knows the answer to.  I am so grateful for the love, care, and support my family has been shown over the past 9 months. I did not expect any of this, and sometimes find myself in a dark place, but looking at all of the good that exists is so very helpful.  Perspective is everything and really, we are very lucky.

Today, I am going to put up my Christmas tree, snuggle my baby girl, and enjoy my family.  I am going to let the scary thoughts in because I think it’s important to acknowledge them, but choose to focus on the good.  I am choosing to be thankful in this season of uncertainty.