Milk Donation
Over the past almost five years of my breastfeeding journey I have read and heard countless stories about mothers who have donated their breastmilk to babies in need. I have always been stunned by the love and generosity behind these stories. Pumping is really one of the ultimate labors of love. It can be time consuming and you have to be really dedicated to stick with it. When my first son was a newborn, he struggled to latch and I was encouraged to pump milk and then feed it to him with a bottle after every nursing session. Unfortunately my body did not respond to the pump well. I could spend 30 minutes hooked up to the darn thing and maybe collect about 3oz with both breasts combined. I couldn’t help but feel inadequate when my insurance company sent me 8oz bottles with my pump. I wondered to myself who could actually fill them in a single pump session. Luckily my IBCLC encouraged me and told me that 3oz can actually be considered “good” output for many women. Overtime my son’s latch improved and I was able to ditch the pump except for times when I would be away from him.
Fast forward to the birth of my second son. They… whoever “they” are… say that a women’s milk supply increases with each child. Boy was that an understatement! With my second son I was already producing milk at only 4 or 5 months pregnant. By the time he was born I had so much that my newborn was essential water boarded every time he tried to nurse. My letdown was so strong that it would spray him in the face like a firehose as he tried to gulp it down as fast as he could. I felt awful and tried to slow the flow by using a hakka before he nursed to catch some of the initial spray. I also pumped in the morning to reduce the engorgement of my breasts so that my newborn could easier latch. By the time that my son was a week old I already had a sizable freezer stash. I couldn’t believe it. One morning I accidentally dozed off while pumping and actually overflowed the pump bottle and ended up leaking milk all over my lap. I was shocked. I was pumping 5-6 on EACH side during every pump session. It occurred to me one night as I was lying in bed awake that perhaps I was going to need those 8oz bottles that my insurance had sent with my first son after all! Who would have thought!
However, unlike my first son, my second decided at four months of age that bottles were unacceptable and decided that he would ONLY accept breastmilk from the boob. It’s been a struggle but due to my oversupply with this baby I’ve occasionally had to pump when he can’t drink enough for my comfort. When I went to see what I had for milk in my freezer before my trip (see last week’s post HERE) I had to face the reality of what was in there. I had hundreds of ounces of milk neatly dated and stored away in milk storage bins – some still with dates from the week my son was born. I tried using some in my son’s bath but it was more work than I felt it was worth and some was over a year old and I felt like it was finally time to let it go. That said dumping the milk that was “expired” was almost painful. I had put so much effort into pumping with my first son and had never really had much of a freezer stash to speak of so it felt empowering to be able to easily produce so much for my second son. But ironically he didn’t need it and it was tough for me to continue to rationalize saving the milk any longer.
After dumping the milk that was over 9 months old, I still had hundreds of ounces that I didn’t want to just toss. I asked my IBCLC about donating but she told me that donating to a milk bank is difficult and that the screening process is rather rigorous. I fully admit that I like to have a few adult drinks on occasion and my IBCLC told me that unless I had marked exactly which days that had been that this alone could cause my milk to be rejected by the bank. I was disappointed. I had all of this milk that my own baby didn’t need and I knew that there were other babies out there that really needed it.
Then, out of the blue, a friend who I had met in my breastfeeding support group when my first son was a newborn messaged me on Facebook. She had another baby a few months prior but was struggling to produce enough milk and pump effectively with her teaching schedule. She said that she had heard from a mutual friend that I had milk that I didn’t need and asked if I’d be willing to donate it to her daughter. I was hesitant at first. I was afraid that I could be sued if something happened to the other baby. I emailed my friend and disclosed everything that I could possibly think of that could have impacted the content of my milk. She assured me that she wasn’t worried and that if I was willing to give it to my own son that she was more than willing to give it to her daughter. So, I agreed that she could come and pick up all but 3 bags which I kept in case I couldn’t pump enough for our trip.
A couple of days later I took a deep breath and handed over a few hundred ounces of milk to my friend. She was overjoyed and seemed deeply grateful. It felt humbling and it brought me some peace knowing that my milk would be going to another baby rather than the garbage can. A couple of weeks later I got another email from my friend. She wanted me to know that her daughter had just finished the last bag of milk that I had given her and that her daughter had made great gains in the past month. She told me that she attributed her daughter’s growth to my milk and that she was so grateful that I was willing to help. I couldn’t believe it. I was grateful for her email update. I can’t really describe all of the emotions that went through my head but it was an amazing feeling. I felt like I had really made a difference.
Image Courtesy of Mother’s Milk Bank Northeast