Motherhood
As Mother’s Day approaches in just a few days (May 13th) I have been thinking a lot about what motherhood means to me. In many ways I was completely unprepared for what being a mother would be like. Being a mom is in many ways the best but hardest job in the world. I wouldn’t trade it for the world but some days I feel quite unprepared for the task.
I’ve always been the “mother hen” type. As a young girl I loved playing with my dolls and stuffed animals and pretending to be a mom. I always knew I would be one and even chose my college major with my future family in mind. Many of my friends called me old fashioned but the idea of having a family was deeply important to me and I wanted to career path that would allow me to spend time with my children and husband without long overtime hours and time away from home. I chose to study education and become a certified teacher – to me this path offered the best of both worlds – the chance to be at work while my children (hypothetical at the time) were in school and be home with them in the afternoons. (Years later, I am a stay at home mom but I am still entertaining the idea of rejoining the workforce once my son (and his hypothetical future siblings) are school age.) My friends in college went so far as to call me the “mother hen.” I was the one that they could count on to be the designated driver and to make sure that they got home in one piece at the end of the night. I was the first person they would call if there were in trouble or if they needed someone to fill in details from a night that they might have partied a little too hard. I was the shoulder to try on and even (although I’m slightly embarrassed to admit this) the expert on laundry and ironing. Most of the time I didn’t mind this role and at times it was even funny but I admit being frustrated at times. I felt that all of this experience was grooming me for future motherhood but there is so much more to being a mother than just making sure that your baby is clean and fed at the end of the day.
Being a mom is a HUGE responsibility but not just because you have to physically take care of another person. Yes, that part is difficult, but equally daunting is the idea that you have to teach this little person and shape their personalities preparing them to be good, successful, independent people. Being a mom is like being a maid, a personal assistant, a life coach, a nurse, a teacher, a mediator, a negotiator, a chef (to a very picky diner), and a source of entertainment all in one 24/7! That’s like having nine careers and I only have training in ONE of those fields never mind having the time to do all of that. To top it off, there are no sick days and no days off either! Sick as a dog and operating on 2 hours of sleep? Sorry your toddler doesn’t care – he wants breakfast now and even though he says he wants a banana he really wants yogurt and he wanted it 10 minutes ago.
Sometimes my son falls asleep on my chest and I just want to get lost in how peaceful and perfect he seems. It seems impossible to love someone SO much and yet I am terrified of somehow screwing him up. How can I possibly be good enough to teach him everything he needs to know to survive in this world? Other days, when he is pushing my buttons and throwing food on the floor I feel tempted to post him on craigslist with “free curbside pickup” and feel utterly unqualified to do this job but at the end of day everything somehow seems to work itself out.
No one tells you how hard motherhood will really be and even when people try I don’t think that anyone can really comprehend it until they are in the thick of it. But what makes it all worth it is the unconditional love. I wouldn’t trade my son for the world even on the worst days.
Underneath all of the logistics though, being a mom is more than the jobs that I listed above. It’s about being a soft place to land, a comfort zone, a steady rock, and a guiding hand. You won’t be perfect and that’s OK. Your child knows that you are there no matter what and always will be. They probably won’t appreciate everything that you do now but someday when they have children of their own they will.
This mother’s day I want to personally thank my mother for everything that she has given me. There really isn’t any way to thank her enough because she is the reason that I am who I am today and I feel completely unable to repay her for every bit of her love, blood, sweat, and tears that went into shaping the woman (and mom) that I am today. I hope that you too find time to reflect on what motherhood means to you this week and to give credit where credit is due – to the mother figures in your life and to yourself. This job is not for the faint of heart but it truly is the most rewarding one that we could ever be given.
Image Courtesy of Everyhome.com