Potty Training Pt. 1
Do you have a toddler? If so, you might be considering potty training or at the very least have it at the back of your head as something to think about in the future. Leaning to use the potty is a toddler rite of passage but I have also found that it seems to be a fairly loaded topic when it comes to social circles and mommy groups. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to WHEN and HOW to train YOUR child!
My son just turned two a month ago in the beginning of June. About a month before his birthday we visited my mother and she got him literally obsessed with the toilet. She even convinced him that he wanted a potty for his birthday instead of a toy. Crazy right? She had basically decided for me that it was time to train my son. I had read a little bit online about the subject but almost everything that I had read suggested that it is harder to potty train boys and that boys do not start training until after age three. On the other hand, a friend of mine (whose family lives in Europe) confided in me that her family is appalled that her daughter (who for the record hasn’t even turned two yet) is still using diapers. Talk about major cultural differences and societal pressure!
Instead of trying to pressure our babies into growing up too fast or waiting until potty training is imperative in order to go to school, I think we should each listen to our gut about our own child. Each child is different and I think every child’s readiness timeline is a little different. Can we all please stop judging each other’s choices and telling each other what to do? In my experience, when people are looking for opinions, they ask! Absolutely go ahead and share your potty training story with me but please don’t judge my choices.
That said, after seeing my son’s excitement about the possibility of using the potty, I started to wonder if maybe he was ready after all. I also had to really consider if I was ready. Was I ready to give up the diapers that were one of the last links to my sons’ babyhood? Some of you may be thinking I am nuts for even considering a desire to change more diapers BUT I don’t think I am the only one. Don’t get me wrong… I was not looking forward to cleaning up any more poopy diapers than absolutely necessary but the diaper changing wasn’t really driving me crazy.
After giving it a lot of thought and doing some online research I decided that both my son and I were ready and that it wouldn’t hurt to give potty training a try. How did I know that my son was ready? That’s a great question. To be honest, I think you have to really think about your own child. You know him or her best and as the parent you know what he or she can handle. I have also read a handful of books on the subject over the last month and I can say that hands down the best and most helpful book that I have read is Oh Crap! Potty Training – Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It once and Do It Right by: Jamie Glowacki (Self proclaimed “Pied Piper of Poop.”) According to this book, a child is ready if he or she: “retreats to a corner or private place to poop,” can “recite the “ABC” song,” can “communicate” a “need” (such as asking for water, a snack, or throwing a tantrum when they don’t get their way), and ideally is between the ages of 20 and 30 months old. The author says that the idea that boys cannot potty train before three is absolutely false and that waiting until that time actually makes the process more difficult! She explains her reasons in detail, which I won’t do here, and I agreed with most of what she had to say. One thing that really spoke to me was her idea that having a child use diapers that is smart enough to do all sorts of other skills is kind of demeaning to his or her intelligence. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. My son is very smart (in my opinion of course) and I decided that it wasn’t fair for me to hold off potty training just because I didn’t want to deal with this challenge.
The reason that Oh Crap is so superior to all of the other books that I read is simple. Most of the other books simply told you to take off the diaper and “go for it.” They didn’t actually explain what to do next! Oh Crap, on the other hand, walks you through the process step by step and actually troubleshoots issues that you may face. The author is honest, up front, and has a sense of humor which is totally necessary when the topic is poop- haha. She also explains and justifies what she says which lends the book a real sense of authenticity.
I don’t want to ruin the whole book but Glowacki discusses the process in terms of “blocks” and describes a child’s learning process as going from “Clueless to I Peed to I’m Peeing to I Have to Go Pee.” Glowacki suggests starting the process with a naked day and being summer this is the perfect time to do that. I actual spent the first few days of the process with my son outside on our deck playing with his water table. This way, if he had an accident it was no big deal! I just sprayed off and we were ready to try again! No mess, no yelling, no tears.
So far things are going well but we are still pretty early in the process. If you are considering potty training I hope that this helps you to start the process. Be sure to check back in a month or so as I plan to write another post with an update about how the process is going for us which will include a review of some of the potty training aids that we have purchased. Wish us luck and if you are right there with me… good luck to you too!
Photo Courtesy of Buybuybaby,com