Things they never warned me about: Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Morning sickness.  It goes with pregnancy like peanut butter goes with jelly.  That queasy feeling that you just can’t shake early in pregnancy.  It makes those first joyful weeks miserable for some and turns your former favorite food into a trip to the toilet heaving.

But what happens when its more than that?  When it lasts beyond the first trimester?  When its accompanied by extreme weight loss, frequent vomiting, unrelenting nausea, and intense food aversions?  This is known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I have experienced three hyperemesis pregnancies.  Each one progressively worse.

With my first child, I didn’t understand what was happening to me.  I knew morning sickness was a common thing and just assumed I was experiencing the all day and night version.  Until I hit 6 weeks, lost 10 pounds in one week, and vomited so much I had to be given sedatives to stop.  I was formally diagnosed with hyperemesis. I was hospitalized for a week and sent home with a PICC line to provide fluid and nutrition until I was finally able to eat enough to sustain the pregnancy.  I was on many combinations of medication from steroids to anti-nausea drugs with only minimal success.

My next two pregnancies were much of the same.  I had a PICC line each time and a pump to administer Zofran and other medications around the clock.  I lost a great deal of weight with each pregnancy but thankfully had healthy babies in the end.

Hyperemesis is one of those things no one talks about.  It has become more widely known due to Kate Middleton suffering with the condition during her pregnancies but even still it is referred to as extreme morning sickness.  The reality of the condition is much worse than that.  It turns what is supposed to be a joyous time into misery, depression, anxiety, and sickness.  You feel as though your body is turning against you.  Some women become so ill that they have thoughts of termination.  With my third baby, I was one of those women.  Its a dark place to be in.  To have a pregnancy that you so desperately want make you so terribly ill.  So many doctors are totally uninformed so getting proper care isn’t always easy.  Until recently, hyperemesis was thought to have psychological roots; that women suffering from the condition subconsciously didn’t want their babies.  Thankfully we now know that that isn’t true and research is showing a genetic component to the disease.  But still, many women are sent for psychological evaluations rather than given proper treatment and medication.

Its hard to know which is worse; constant vomiting or unrelenting constant nausea.  For me, for the most part, the medications stopped the vomiting, but the nausea was always there.  Extreme.  The thought of most foods and drinks made me so ill I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as them.  Smells sent me into a spiral.  There were days when all I could do was lay in the dark and wish it all to stop.  As I had more children, this became more difficult to do which I think contributes to the feeling that each pregnancy was worse.

I decided after my first baby that I wouldn’t let hyperemesis determine the size of my family and I have stuck to that.  Its 9 months of illness for a lifetime of joy.  But it comes at a great cost.  Emotional and otherwise.

The costs of treatment is staggering.  My bills were in the tens of thousands each month between medication and home health care.  Insurance covered a lot of it, but not all.  And often the medications prescribed weren’t covered and we needed to appeal.  You can imagine how simple that process is when you can barely hold your head up.

Physically, I still struggle with the effects of three HG pregnancies.  I have dental issues, food aversions, and mineral deficiencies that are thought to be related to months of vomiting and the toll that takes on your body.  Some women suffer from long lasting GI issues and many end up with psychological trauma from the difficulty of living 9 months like this.

I have found, throughout this journey, that while very few people know about this condition, many people struggle with it and are simply misdiagnosed or under treated.  I will be including resources for support, information, and medical help in this post.  If you are struggling with hyperemesis, or have in the past, you are not alone.  This is one of the things no one warns you is possible and once it happens to you it is vital to find a support network.  Future pregnancies depend on it.

Nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, especially early pregnancy, can be normal.  Many women experience it and for most, its short lived and doesn’t effect their health or pregnancy.  If you are experiencing something more than this, please reach out to your provider.  HelpHer has a listed of preferred providers who have experience treating HG and resources for both expectant mothers and their support people to get support during pregnancy and beyond.  There are numerous Facebook groups which offer support and information such as successful medication protocols which many survivors of hyperemesis find to be invaluable.  Connecting with other women who are going through this is key.

Remember, you are not alone.  You are not making this up.  Hyperemesis is a very real condition that effects pregnancy.  Most don’t know about it because its not talked about.  Find a supportive community to lift you up during the dark times.  And find a medical provider who will take your symptoms and concerns seriously.  Pregnancy with Hyperemesis is difficult and proper treatment and support are vital to ensuring the emotional and physical health and well being of both mama and baby.